Making Caregiving
More Transparent

"This auntie is really terrible, a bootlicking old princess who worships America. Her age and everything else were changed and fake, and the real difference is huge; she is actually over 60. She kept saying how good Americans are, sucking up to them so much. When taking care of the child she was constantly playing on her phone; she would not even put it down while feeding milk, and she choked my child twice. I told her about it but she did not change. She also dressed very sexy and skimpy while walking around my home, wearing sexy transparent sleepwear and video-chatting with men, seducing men, deliberately speaking in a coy voice and acting coquettish. Once she started chatting it would last one or two hours, saying a lot of disgusting and vulgar things. I do not understand how someone over 60 can still be so slutty. Her mind was not on the baby at all. I really could not tolerate it anymore and kicked her out."

"We originally only wanted to sign for 30 days, but she said her schedule was hard to arrange and insisted on 40 days, so we agreed. But not long after the second wage settlement, she suddenly said she wanted to leave early and had already arranged her next job. She collected the money in installments, the contract was signed, and after receiving the money she then said she wanted to leave. The $2,000 deposit could only be deducted during the last 13 days, so throughout the entire service period that $2,000 was in her hands; if something went wrong, you had to think carefully first. The contract also forcibly included a 10% tip—not suggested, mandatory—and the entire contract protected her interests. Attitude She habitually spoke in a commanding tone, was forceful, and always thought she was right. We hired a postpartum nanny because I hoped someone would help me get through the hardest period, but instead I had to deal with this way of interacting every day. Flashlight At night, when watching the monitor, she was holding the baby while using her phone, and whenever messages came in the flash kept flashing nonstop in the dark baby room. It wasn’t mentioned only once; every time I brought it up she argued back, and the last time it directly turned into an argument, with the baby sleeping right next to us. It only stopped after I was the first to say I didn’t want to continue. No apology, no change. That night we decided to let her go. Phone always in hand She used her phone while caring for the baby. The flash incident only brought this problem out into the open; in fact, it ran through the entire service period. Disrespect for privacy She would push the door open and come in for any reason or no reason, without saying anything first. Even in the morning when we were still sleeping, the door would open directly and she would come in. We reminded her, and she said she did not do it and talked back on the spot. Not taking care of things in the home She broke two faucets by using excessive force—one was bent crooked and one leaked and could not be turned off. In the end, we had to hire someone to replace them to solve the problem. She used a lot of force in everything she did; doors and drawers slammed loudly. During postpartum confinement my sleep was already light, and telling her did not help. Kitchen hygiene After using the sink, she never wiped it dry. After she left, we discovered the grout had already become moldy and black. The refrigerator handle was greasy, there were often oil stains on the table, and many details did not hold up to scrutiny. Because I didn’t want to wake up early, I proactively said she did not need to make breakfast and that two meals were fine, thinking she could spend more time on the baby. In the end, she still neglected what she neglected. Professional negligence After my C-section, I had been using my hands to support myself when getting up, and now my tenosynovitis is very severe. It hurts even to hold the baby, and I need steroid injections. During the entire service period, she never reminded me to pay attention to the way I got up after a C-section. This is the most basic thing a postpartum nanny should tell someone. Something went missing The egg beater she asked us to buy—when she used it, she even asked how much it cost and said she wanted one. After she left, it was simply gone. It was only something worth a few dozen dollars, but this kind of behavior made me very uncomfortable. The day she left We bought her plane ticket, reimbursed her transportation, and paid her an extra half day’s wages because we wanted to part on good terms. She was unwilling and wanted a full day, making sarcastic remarks like, “Taking that bit of money won’t make you rich, and not having it won’t make me poor,” and she was about to start cursing in public. At the airport, she messaged again saying the $45 baggage fee had not been reimbursed, and continued messaging the next day. Speechless. After the new nanny arrived and checked the baby supplies, she found that the bottom of the baby bottle sterilizer was full of limescale, black and dirty, and had never been cleaned. The baby’s bottles were sterilized in it every day, and I had no idea before. After Hu Yongxiu left my home, she discussed my private matters at her new employer’s home, and without any factual basis, spread false information about my profession to the employer and the postpartum nanny group, making rumors and malicious guesses about my work and identity. During her time in my home, she also repeatedly mentioned negative things about her previous employer, complained that the employer “threatened her,” and attributed things like my slow postpartum reactions to employer-related issues, while frequently making negative comments about her previous employer. Looking back now, someone who keeps creating negative comments between different employers was actually someone we should have cut ties with in time. During her time in my home, when I, as the mother, went to see the baby, understand the baby’s condition, or raise reasonable opinions, she said I was “too demanding” and “like a supervisor.” It was as if an employer could not care about their own child or raise opinions about the caregiving work. In addition, she often recommended expensive silk quilts, bird’s nest, and postpartum recovery programs to the mother. I later learned from postpartum recovery staff that for every successful referral of a client to do postpartum recovery, she could receive a $500 referral fee. This also made me question her true motives in recommending these programs."

"Warning: viral postpartum nanny — Sun Meiyun I was discharged from the hospital on the afternoon of May 23, and Sun Meiyun came to start the job. On June 27, I discussed with Sun Meiyun ending the job and settling payment. It was originally scheduled for 45 days, but in the end I didn’t want to put up with it anymore, so I had her leave after 26 days. The whole process was extremely uncomfortable. I paid her US$8,800 plus a 10% tip of US$880. In addition, I reimbursed Sun Meiyun’s round-trip transportation and shipping costs of US$320. But Sun Meiyun even miscalculated the bill before leaving and added an extra 1,500 dollars to me. I only realized it afterward. But I only recovered $380. She denied the rest. For us women, postpartum confinement is a once-in-a-lifetime matter. I was not careless about this at all, and I was willing to spend money to buy service. I didn’t care about the money at all. Now let me talk about my experience using her service: 1. She did not wash her hands after using the toilet and was unhygienic. I am not exaggerating at all. After she used the toilet, there was only the sound of the toilet flushing, not the sound of running water from the sink washing hands. This kind of thing should not be my business; it is someone else’s private matter. But! This concerns my son! After using the toilet without washing your hands, as a postpartum nanny you then go hold my son, feed him milk, and give him a pacifier! Do you think that is appropriate? 2. She played on her phone while caring for the baby. I won’t keep repeating this; Sun Meiyun is an internet celebrity. Internet celebrities need traffic. And this wave of traffic was provided by “us.” 3. A professional postpartum nanny would not use skincare products with a very strong fragrance. This is not good for children. Anyone with a little common sense knows this. When I discussed this with the previous mother who had hired Sun Meiyun, that mother immediately realized: no wonder my baby had allergies all the time! 4. Also the most important point. I had just given birth to my son and was a new mother. I didn’t understand anything, which is why I hired a postpartum nanny. Every night I still had to get up two or three times to pump milk. But she was something else. My newborn son was lying on the bed, and for some unknown reason he kept sleeping and sleeping; after he slept for 6 hours she still did not wake him up to drink milk. Newborns are generally fed once every two hours. I didn’t know, but as a postpartum nanny, didn’t she know? I think she only cared about her own convenience. 5. Gluttonous and lazy; whoever hires her will know. 6. After coming to my home, she was very unwilling to wash her own clothes. At first she wanted to wash them together with my clothes, which I was not willing to do. Oh, and on the first day she came to my home, she broke one of my dryers. On the first day after she arrived, she was being polite with me, so she hand-washed her own clothes, then without wringing them out at all—very, very wet clothes—she directly threw them into the dryer. My mom saw it and asked her why she didn’t wring them out. Sun Meiyun said it was fine. Then our dryer was ruined. Viral postpartum nanny Sun Meiyun even found wringing out clothes too much trouble and directly threw them into the dryer, misusing it and causing my dryer to be ruined. I was going to buy a new one, but after thinking about it, I decided to wait until after Sun Meiyun left. The last few days were the most outrageous: she came to my home to work as a postpartum nanny, but Sun Meiyun’s clothes were washed by my mom for her. Also, there was one time when none of us had even touched our chopsticks yet, and she had already finished eating. We were all stunned. 7. I prepared Shenghua Tang, and my doctor advised me not to take it. My postpartum nanny said it was okay, no problem. As a result, on postpartum day 20, I had heavy bleeding. I went to the emergency room. My OB-GYN asked me, did you secretly take Shenghua Tang? I told the truth. My obstetrician was very angry. I’m sharing these things as a reference for all mothers. 8. Her professional ethics worried me. During the service period, she often took the initiative to talk to me about private matters of other employer families. For example, she commented on former employers’ marital relationships, financial situations, educational backgrounds, motives for marriage, and even made various guesses and negative comments about how other people met, why they got married, what professions they worked in, and so on. Much of the content clearly belonged to other people’s privacy, and it carried strong personal attacks and subjective speculation. My first reaction after hearing it at the time was not agreement, but concern. Because I believe: After a professional postpartum nanny enters an employer’s home, she will come into contact with a large amount of private information. If she can talk to me about the previous family’s privacy without any scruples, then in the future she is also very likely to talk to others about my family’s matters. This made me have serious doubts about her professional ethics and sense of confidentiality. A postpartum nanny’s work is not only to care for the mother and baby, but also requires basic professional ethics and boundaries. On this point, I personally cannot accept it."