Making Caregiving
More Transparent

"Finding Auntie Zhang was truly such a blessing! When we first had a video call with her, I already felt that she had an easygoing personality and a lot of experience, and after living together for a while, that really proved to be true. Auntie Zhang is hardworking and conscientious, and she takes meticulous care of the baby. You can tell that she genuinely loves babies and isn’t just completing tasks, so we felt very comfortable leaving the baby in her care. When the baby was going through evening fussiness, she patiently tried different ways to soothe the baby every day, and thanks to her efforts, the evening fussiness was successfully brought under control within just a few days. She is also an amazing cook and makes a huge variety of dishes. Whatever we wanted to eat, we could send it to her and she could make it. With her care, my body recovered quickly and well, and the baby has also been growing very well. Thank you!!"

"Strongly not recommended. I only had her work for three days before asking her to leave. 1) Her postpartum meals were glutinous rice, red date sweet soup, chicken soup/pork rib vermicelli, and greens. Just these few things, three meals a day, every meal like this. Even I, someone who likes soup, got tired of it. I wanted to switch the greens to cauliflower and that wasn’t okay either. Eating every day was miserable. 2) She was especially harsh. When I breastfed directly, she insisted I had to sit up to feed. When the lactation consultant called to follow up on me, I specifically asked whether I could nurse lying down, because sitting made my waist hurt badly. The consultant said I should feed in whatever position was most comfortable for me, otherwise the baby would also feel my tension and discomfort. So I nursed lying down. Then as soon as she came in and saw me, she shouted at me, “Didn’t I tell you to sit up to feed?” I felt incredibly wronged in that moment. Am I paying money just to be treated badly? 3) She bathed my baby, and my baby cried very hard. I asked whether the water might be too hot. Her reaction was extremely dramatic: holding the baby with one hand and splashing the water frantically with the other, saying while splashing, “How is it hot?” Later, after I asked her to leave, my mom and I bathed the baby together, and the whole time the baby was calm, without the slightest sign of discomfort. 4) The baby cried in the middle of the night, and I happened to still be awake, so I went into the room to check on the baby. The maternity nanny said to me, “If I have to get up every time she cries a little, am I supposed to sleep at all?” 5) She brought some baby clothes that a previous employer had given her. Then one day she suddenly told my family that I had thrown away her clothes. Seriously, so dramatic. Why would I throw away her clothes for no reason? 6) The washing machine is in the basement garage. On the very first day she came, she told us her legs were bad and she couldn’t go up and down to the basement to do laundry. 7) When the baby cried and I called her, she said it was a good thing for babies to cry more because it exercises their lung capacity? She wouldn’t even come over to take a look, didn’t check whether the baby had any needs causing the crying, and just said to let the baby cry for a while... 8) When I told her what the doctor had instructed, she replied, “I’ve been doing postpartum nanny work for more than twenty years. Am I not more experienced than doctors?” Her personality was extremely stubborn and uncooperative. She lives in New York and was recommended by someone we know. At the time, the feedback sounded pretty good, so we booked her. But it turned out this maternity nanny was the type who treated people differently depending on who they were. Seeing that our family had no elders around at the time and that this was our first baby, she kept putting on airs and giving us attitude. I endured it for three days and finally couldn’t take it anymore, so I told her to leave. Later I hired another Fujian nanny. I really don’t know whether this was just an individual case, or whether the older Fujian generation is like this—different on the surface and underneath, treating employers differently depending on the situation, liking to manipulate employers, and giving nasty looks."

"To those nights we fought side by side My amazing postpartum nanny, Auntie Du: Thank you so much for your meticulous care during my confinement period. I was very happy and deeply moved during the more than 40 days we spent together. In the blink of an eye, this confinement period is coming to an end... I suddenly find myself wishing time would pass a little more slowly. It feels like there is still so much left unsaid, and all that remains in my heart is reluctance to part... Thank you for coming into our lives and taking such good care of me and my baby, helping me through one of the most unforgettable times in my life. After 42 days together, it felt like we were family. Now that it is suddenly almost over, I feel a little reluctant to say goodbye. Every day you bathed the baby, did massage exercises, changed diapers, and burped the baby, which made me truly feel that professional work should be done by professionals. Interacting with the baby, soothing the baby to sleep, sterilizing feeding equipment, and even hand-washing the baby’s clothes every single time—you handled everything at every stage carefully and seriously, just as if the baby were your own child. You were incredibly patient, treated the baby like your own, and cared for us in every possible way. With you here for these more than 40 days, I never felt like I was fighting alone. It felt so good to always have someone by my side and someone to rely on. Thank you for your attentive care. There are always some people we cross paths with and form a bond with, and I don’t know when we will meet again. Love makes both coming together and parting more meaningful! I’m grateful we met, and I look forward to seeing you again. I hope everything goes smoothly in your future work and that all goes well for you! Wishing you good health and a happy life!"